I belong to Jesus

I grew up in a religious and traditional family. I was used to wake up early on Sundays to attend the first mass in the morning. I am used to praying the rosary almost everywhere, inside a jeepney, when I am about to sleep, whenever I get bored *yes... *whenever I am bored... and most absurdly was, even when I ride a motorcycle... 


I pray the novena when I wanted something from Him... I pray twice as hard if I really want that something. 


Everything was a routine... a routine done without thinking, without the presence of my heart. 


Then I started to crave for more. I hunger to know Jesus, to know the father more. I want to talk to Him personally, to share everything. Not just pray for things I wanted to have, or for breakthroughs I wanted my life to have. 


Before, I wanted to be able to know God more than I know myself... But I learned that He knows me more than I knew myself from the very start. I run away from Him most of my life and He in return, hugs me tighter... 


I sin... I am stubborn... I rebel... 
(If I see someone who is  as stubborn as I am, I will let him do whatever he pleases and let him see his faults and then learned from it by himself... as it is supposed to be...) 


But Jesus, as I was at the middle of my sins, at the wreck of my stubbornest, at the consequences of my rebellion, died for my sins...  ‎"His love endures forever" (Psalm 136:26)


I was overjoyed, I could not believe someone will give his life to save me from my sins. I wasn't sure if I am worthy of it, the purest of pure, the one without sin will willingly want to die for me? Sino ako? 


Then realization hits me... or should I say, Jesus' love hits me. :) 


I am still hungry, I am still craving to know Him more, I want to know my saviour, my redeemer...  


That's why I'm praying and I know He will answer according to His will, that I be given the wisdom to know his will, the heart to understand, and the courage to do them... 


When you give everything to God, nothing is impossible.. 


Lean to love the Dream Giver more than the dream itself, for He dreams far more than we do.

A fish and a cat

It's almost 5pm, almost time for me to visit the bundy clock . But then heavy rain started to pour outside. Geessh! and I'm really cold, with the aircon positioned just a few meters away from my desk.
So I thoughts that its better to warm my fingers by typing...



I'm tired, i can almost hear my body aching and I can hear my brain's creative juice pump slowly making the ""eekkk" sound. I've been writing scripts since morning and my thoughts are now as clattered as my desk. Come to think of it, I've been planning to buy a fish bowl for my desk, I want a little life in this small space. But so far, time forbids me.  So now. (as in right now, I'm changing my desktop wall paper. :) I'm putting a picture of a pretty goldfish on his crystal globe fish bowl. :D 


tttadddaa!!!  

and this one too. :) 

whew! a kitty and goldfish! 


I want a goldfish... I want one bad! enough of seeing piles of scripts and bunch of tapes on my desk. I want life, I want life! :) anyhow, looks like I have to settle for this lovely creatures for now. :) I don't really mind. I'm naming the pretty goldfish Romeo and the kitten, Alice. :D 


you just got to love them. :) 

Creative people on the roof!

I work as a creative writer in a government owned television network.  

And I would like to share the things we do when... well, when we run out of things to do :)

pose, pose pose! hurry, ooohhh!!! those
clicking sounds! :)

I love these people. They are all very creative, talented, and witty. They come up with the funniest jokes! So one day, our senior graphic artist bought this new toy, (canon DSLR (professional camera)! ooohhhh!!! new toy! new toy!  so right away we went out and play! we went to the rooftop and what do you know! creative people digging their creative posses! 

hang in there Kuya Bryan, creative  things
don't just spring in thin air! :) 

      

hang in there Kuya Bryan, creative  things don't just spring in thin air! :) 

 These people love everything about arts. You should see how our office white board turned into a creative doodle board. :) when one starts by merely sketching a circle, it'll grow and grow to be the universe in a few days. Everyone, one by one will then draw something connected to the circle, and with 12 and more of us here, the possibility of what will come-out of the that circle is endless! 

and... yes, even the most creative and most talented "us"
sometimes need a little break too. :) 

timid and shy

I love my little sister. she is often shy, timid, and soft spoken. Well... Uhm... that was at least when she was five years old.. The first time she learned how to write, she wrote me letters, addressing me as "tete" (her own version of  ate which means "bigger sister"). I still remember her on her little pink satin dress while jumping up and down our old sofa. She was fair, chubby and cute. Our neighbours loved to hug her and pinch her plump little chicks. And boy! she loved the attention, she will often run outside our house and go directly to our neighbours front door just to look for familiar faces.


I remembered being so close to her that when my grandma took me to the province of Pampanga for two weeks, I missed her more than I missed my mom. :) and when we went home, I hugged her so tight she cried. haha!


She is no a teenager, and as we all know, the teenage years is the so called don't-bother-me, you-don't-understand-me age. I'm missing the younger her, when she will hold my hand whenever she's scared, whenever she's not sure if she should do this or that, I'm missing the way she jumped up and down our bed, and yes, the "thug" sound whenever she falls off. 


Candy doesn't work on her any more, nor does bribery, I think. She's now off to a world where it is really hard for me to penetrate... Her friends are now her "tete"... her soul sisters... I am no longer enough to be the company she needed and wanted. 


I knew and I'm praying that someday she will grow as a fine lady. Far better than me. I'm praying that she'll value her education the more I valued mine... 


My goodness! so this is how it feels like for mothers whose daughters are growing up... 

Grow up Marvinia, my little sister... but never forget, you are still my once timid and shy little sister in her favourite satin dress. I love you.  and I will always do... 

It's time to talk trash

A campaign plug I wrote for us to realize that it is time to mind our garbage. 

Editing/Graphics by: Bryan Sales 
Concept/Writer: Margie Flores 

where are you honey... 

23 years of me

the next flag

Posted in Uncategorized with tags finish line on October 8, 2008 by margeflores

I’ve been working on something new lately… and I’m
trying like hell to give it everything I can literally give.

I’m into something I’ve been dreaming to since the
day my mind can conceive thoughts. And
now I’m here… its not as easy at it looks. I’ve suffered endless frustrations and unlimited stress. I’ve undergone
countless emotional breakdowns that you wouldn’t even imagine… and now I’m
here…

And everything
is so frustrating…

I thought it will all end here. This part is supposed
to be my finish line, then comes the CBB accompanied by a melodramatic scoring!

But yet the film is
still rolling… WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

What am I supposed to do now? Where should I go?

I was supposed to stop here!
It was supposed to end here!
Everything should end here
now!

I should be waving my colors now…

Where should I go?  Should I go straight?

Should I follow my supposed winning finish line?

Should I make another path?

Now?

Seriously?

This part wasn’t on the plan… I really don’t know the
next chapter.

I’m starting something… just something…

Lets just put it this way…

I’ve gone this far and it will take one hell of that
“something” to stop me from getting my
new flag!

23 years of me 

I wrote the above blog days before my college graduation. It was when I realized that life doesn't end after school. I was shocked. I cant believe what was happening then. I was forcefully thrown in the jungle, where I was at the bottom of the food chain. I was the plankton, I was the worm, I was the decaying meat. 

It the last 2 years outside the academe, I learned things the hard way... I needed to struggle in an industry where people might eat you alive if you missed a little of their instructions. I needed to prove to them that I too can learn and be a part of the system. And in order to prove myself, I worked twice as everyone should. That's the pain you get when you want to prove your worth. 

I am very sad to say that I have changed... In the course of two years, I sometimes forget ideals, I learned to exchange them with realities. Which is how people in my industry does. So you see, it's very hard to work in an industry or in a system if you are running by/on a different network. One will get lost that way. 

On my birthday last week I had the time to think how my life had changed. Some are good, but there are also those I regret. Those that I considered "good" I thank God for them. But those that I regret and whereas time forbids me to change, I honestly did a review on what happened, how it happened, and why I let them happened. And realized that I could have drive them the way I wanted to have I given them the right value. 

23 years of my life and what can I honestly say I've learned? I have learned to value things with the right scale. Those that in years to come will be worthless I do not give much. But to those in the span of years will still be a part of me, I value them the most. 

I realized that I should plan for the future but most importantly I should enjoy today. So that when the future comes, I may say that am proud of the past. There will always be a future, but the present will linger once.